One of the most common questions I hear in supervision is, “Did I do it right?”
It’s a fair question, especially when you care deeply about your coaching. But it’s worth pausing to ask — Who decides what’s right? And what’s the need behind the question?
Many of us enter coaching through structured training that gives us frameworks and models to lean on. They’re helpful, especially when we’re starting out. But as a colleague of mine wisely says: “All frameworks are wrong. Some are useful.”
The point isn’t to follow a model to the letter. It’s to be useful. And useful, in coaching, looks different from session to session.
Sometimes a counterpart just needs to be heard. They don’t need to march through GROW or land a SMART action. They might need a space to think, a reflection of their strengths, or a curious nudge toward something unspoken.
The question I use in my own coaching to stay grounded is simple:
Was that in service of the counterpart, or in service of me?
That lens helps me notice when I’m coaching at my best — and when I’ve drifted into territory that serves my need for structure, competence, or closure rather than what the moment calls for.
One of my favourite reminders comes from Michael Bungay Stanier: “Stay curious a little bit longer.” It’s a gentle but powerful invitation to sit with uncertainty, resist the urge to fix, and remain in service of the person in front of you.
Practical Coaching Tip
After your next coaching session, reflect on this:
“What need was I serving in that moment?”
Was it your need to be right or competent? Or were you truly following the needs of the counterpart? This reflection builds awareness and helps sharpen your intuition over time.
Call to Action
If this resonates with you, you might find 1-on-1 or group supervision valuable. It’s a space to explore questions like these — not to find the one right answer, but to better understand how you coach and where you’re most in service.
Get in touch if you’re interested in joining an upcoming group or starting individual supervision together.