As a coach, you probably connect deeply with certain counterparts. The sessions flow. Insights land. Progress happens. But with others, you might feel like you’re swimming upstream. You question your effectiveness. You wonder why it’s harder.
Often, the reason lies beneath the surface.
Many coaches unconsciously develop preferences for certain types of clients, styles or energies. These preferences aren’t about bias in the harmful sense, but about the familiar. We naturally feel more comfortable with people who resemble our own communication style, pace, values or mindset.
Here are a few examples of unconscious coaching preferences that show up often:
- Feeling more comfortable with counterparts who are goal-oriented
- Feeling thrown off by someone who is more emotional or less structured
- Avoiding challenge with people who remind you of yourself
- Coaching more freely when you admire your counterpart
- Feeling energised by fast-paced thinkers but drained by slower ones
These preferences can limit the range and impact of your coaching. They can also create blind spots where we pull back from challenge or connection without meaning to.
The good news is that supervision helps you notice these patterns. It creates space to explore the “how” of your coaching, not just the “what.” Through reflection, feedback and dialogue, you expand your awareness and broaden your presence — becoming a more flexible and inclusive coach.
Reflection activity:
Think about a recent session that felt difficult or disconnected.
- What type of person were you coaching?
- What was your internal reaction to their style or energy?
- Were you bringing your full self, or holding back in subtle ways?
The more we understand ourselves, the more we can serve others.
If you’re ready to explore your own patterns and stretch your coaching presence, I’m currently offering one-on-one supervision and will soon open spots for a new group.